Parenting For A Peaceful World, Table Of Contents

Foreword xv

Preface xvii

I From violence to harmony: child-rearing and social evolution 1

1 How parenting changes the world 3

II Childhood through the ages 17

2 From horror to hope 19
3 The infanticidal mode 27
4 The abandoning mode 39
5 The ambivalent mode 51
6 The intrusive mode 59
7 The socialising mode 69
8 The helping mode 83
9 What the history of childhood tells us about ourselves 91

III How child-rearing forged the destiny of nations 97

10 Democracy starts at home 99
11 Yugoslavian childhood: from war to democracy 105
12 Traditional Russian childhood and the Stalinist Holocaust 113
13 Nazis and their opponents: how did their childhoods differ? 119
14 Religious extremism: a parenting style 141
15 Child-rearing reforms: The seeds of democracy and human rights 157

IV To socialise or help? From authoritarian to authoritative parenting 173

16 The carrot and the stick 175
17 Authoritarian control method 1: corporal punishment 181
18 Authoritarian control method 2: shaming 193
19 Authoritarian control method 3: manipulation 203
20 The authoritative parent: from control to contact 213

V Emotions, personality and your child’s growing brain 227

21 The shaping of personality and human relations 229
22 What is emotional intelligence? 243
23 What children remember: and how this affects their development 257

VI The five stages of early childhood emotional development 269

24 Five rites of passage in
core emotional development 271
25 First rite of passage: the right to exist 277
26 Second rite of passage: the right to need 297
27 Third rite of passage: the right to have support 323
28 Fourth rite of passage: the right to freedom 335
29 Fifth rite of passage: the right to love 347

VII Where to from here? 359

30 Who parents the parents? 361
31 Emotionally healthy children: a communal responsibility 375

Bibliography 395

Index 421

Acknowledgments 426

Permissions 428

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